ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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