So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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