Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
