How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
