Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
