Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
