Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
