The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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