help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
