Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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