Whoa Z and x make the same sound
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
