fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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