you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize