Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
