gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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