took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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