so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
