im holly from the hills drunk
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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