At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
