yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
