Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
