i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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