So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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