the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize