im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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