omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
