I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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