were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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