party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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