Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
