So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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