She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize