How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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