He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Shame - the story of my life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
