I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
