As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
