I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
