I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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