I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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