i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
