We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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