yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
