Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
