Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
