Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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