going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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