i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
