Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
