is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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