in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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