Nicole vs. Life
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
