Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
