What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
