omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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