yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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