Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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