apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
