Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
